What are boundaries? They are our protection devices. They keep us from being used by others and getting hurt. They are warning signals when you are attuned in to them. They are self-care mechanisms.
When do you need to establish healthy boundaries? When you get hurt - so it doesn’t happen again. When you notice you are experience reoccurring discomfort in a particular situation. When your gut tells you things just feel wrong.
How do you establish healthy boundaries?
1. Know what your needs are. Get clear. How do you want things to be different? If you get what you want, HOW will things be different? What will change for you, and for everyone around you? Is this good for everyone? If not, rethink how you want things to be different.
2. Decide what consequences you can put in place if your boundaries are crossed. Can you reinforce those consequences? At what cost to you?
3. Once you are clear on what you need to be different, and what will happen if change does not happen, you can now speak your truth from a place of love, not from a place of issuing ultimatums, but from a place of self-love, honor and respect for everyone involved.
Before you are clear, you will only get into arguments. Save yourself a lot of time and misery by being clear on what you want. Then uphold your boundaries gracefully by standing in your truth.