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Fostering Intimacy

Intimacy is not just being physical with someone, it's going deeper, much deeper. To that place where you will only allow very few to venture. In fact, it is easier to get physical than intimate. Intimacy requires sacred conversation. It requires openness, honesty, trust, safety and acceptance.

There are 5 parts to fostering intimacy:

1. Who am I: self-discovery. In order to answer this question, ask yourself, "what am I feeling right now, in this moment?" "what feelings do I want to experience," and "what do I need to do to have that feeling in my life?"

2. Who are you: Ask those same questions of the person you'd like to become more intimate with.

3. Who are we: When you are with someone, you are different and they are different. The two of you create a third energy. So ask the same questions as a unit.

4. Where are we now: Where are you in your life's journey. This determines just how intimate you are able to become with each other. If one person is just beginning to know themselves (on page 1) and you are far advanced (on page 100), intimacy may suffer. Try to make sure you're in similar places in your life.

5. Where are we going. Planning your future together fosters intimacy on very deep levels as it requires commitment of both parties, an agreement. Something to be held sacred.

There are many obstacles to becoming intimate, including abuse and other issues from the past. Therefore, sacred and safe conversation is the most important element to fostering intimacy.


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