Have you ever sat wondering where is Mr/Ms Right? Have you read books upon books about finding your soul mate. Richard Bach's book, "A Bridge Across Forever" was my favorite. Have you attended classes and webinars on attracting the perfect guy/gal. Ever pondering the idea of taking a seminar on How to Marry Rich! Just wanting to be married!
So you've read all the books, went to all the classes and you are still alone. So, you decide there must be something wrong with you. And the search beings to find out what is wrong with you. And now you delve deep into self-help books. You learn that your childhood was painful, your parents were not perfect and your current inner child is suffering. Well if you are so messed up, no wonder you can't find the perfect mate - like attracts like.
Breathe, relax, let go. It's time for the healing to begin. You are ready, you do the work, you follow advice, you made your list of what you're looking for, you say your mantra, you recite your affirmations, you visualize, you meditate, you go crazy because its all in your head haunting you and not manifesting in your world. You don't have your mate which means you are not yet fixed which means you are not worthy, which means you will always be lonely.
Wow! What a mind trip we do on ourselves as women. Especially when we think the biological clock is starting to tick beyond our control.
In my private practice of counseling and coaching women for more than 25 years, I have found that the women who attract their perfect mates are the women who love themselves the most. The more self-love that is demonstrated, the more ideal their relationships seem to be.
If you love and care enough about yourself, what happened in your childhood does not matter. Who your parents are/were does not matter. Your inner child is celebrating the love that is taking place within you today and everyday. Children don't carry grudges, within moments they have forgotten all about whatever the problem was and want to go right back to playing. Your inner child only suffers from the past when you keep bringing it up and carrying it around with you.
It's all about choice. You can choose this day to labor over the past, or you can step forward into grace by loving yourself right where you are, no matter what.
You can only experience loneliness when you are feeling separate from the Spirit within, your source. The key to being connected is self-love. How can you expect to be connected with the infinite if you are not feeling worthy of love, the substances that created you?
So all the work you've done to find a mate, attract a mate and fix yourself, have provided excellent tools for learning to love yourself. Apply all of it! Recite affirmations, do meditation, visualize yourself beautiful, happy, healthy and alive! Sing love songs to yourself, pamper yourself, romance your soul. When you are worthy of your own love, others will want a piece of the pie.